#12 - I Promised Myself That I’d Show Up as the Same Person Everywhere I Go

I used to act like a completely different person around my family.

When I was with my friends or colleagues, I'd be outgoing, joyful, and an energetic ball of sunshine.

But around my mom and dad, I was the opposite—moody, volatile, and extremely awkward.

As I grew older, I realized that I was expending a tremendous amount of energy trying (often subconsciously) to be a different person around my parents.

It was no surprise that living at home and spending time with them was exhausting.

It was one of the biggest blockers in my life.

I was being inauthentic and pretending that I was okay with it when I wasn't.

I wanted to break free of the old, debilitating pattern of putting on a different face because that no longer served the people in my life or me.

I didn't want to spend the rest of my life unable to be my cheerful, loving self around my parents.

It was a gift I wanted to give them.

My most authentic self is who I naturally am when I am not trying. It's a profoundly fulfilling state of being that I want to spend as much of my life in as possible.

So I promised myself that I would show up as the same person no matter where I go or who I was with.

If I could be myself around my parents, enjoy my time spent with them, and love them with open arms, I would truly be living my best life.

Joseph J. Lam
On a mission to help people connect deeply with their parents. | CEO & Co-founder of Parents Are Human (parentsarehuman.com)