#14 - The Three Key Challenges for Healing My Relationship With My Parents

The greatest freedom I've experienced in my life came from finding completion with my parents about our relationship.

No award or accomplishment has come close to the lasting fulfillment I feel from returning to love with my mom and dad.

Rebuilding my relationship with them remains the proudest journey I've embarked on. It was also one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.

At the beginning of my journey, I received three challenges to heal my relationship with my parents:

  1. Accept and forgive them for what they have done and for what they have not done, for who they are, and for who they are not.
  2. Acknowledge that they have always wanted the best for me, that they did their best, and that they've completed their duty as parents.
  3. Take 100% responsibility for my life and my physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being.

Healing required putting what's happened in our family behind me. I had to ruthlessly eradicate the blame, shame, and guilt associated with my parents.

Most importantly, I had to embrace that our old wounds will inevitably come up and that these are life-long challenges.

It is up to me to continue to work through our past traumas, rewrite the beliefs that no longer serve us, and learn to love and be loved by Mom & Dad.

Also, time was not on my side. I needed to work through these challenges before it was too late. There was too much life to live on the other side to wait any longer.

Joseph J. Lam
On a mission to help people connect deeply with their parents. | CEO & Co-founder of Parents Are Human (parentsarehuman.com)