#18 - What It Means to Take Full Responsibility for My Communication

Taking responsibility is the opposite of blaming.

It begins with the willingness to declare that the cause & control of my life is within me, not in external factors.

It is not a "truth," but an empowering choice I can make for how I see the situations life throws at me.

When it comes to communication, taking full responsibility means that I am choosing to be 100% responsible for my communication success, letting go of blaming (including myself, others, conditions, or circumstances), and committing to learn & improve.

For communicating with my parents, it looks like this:

  1. If I speak to my parents and they don't hear or understand me, I can take responsibility by not blaming them but instead accepting that my communication was not effective and try a different way.
  2. If my parents are repeating themselves, especially in a frustrated way, I can choose to see that I am not responding in a way where they feel heard, acknowledged, or understood.
  3. If I don't understand what my parents are saying, I get to own that I am not actively listening to them with my full attention—without judgments, filters, or distractions.
  4. If I attempted to communicate that I'm sincere, but my parents felt otherwise, I can hold the belief that my communication (the impact) landed as insincere, regardless of my intention, and try another strategy.

Taking full responsibility is a transformational gift I get to give myself that leaves me with the power to improve my words, tone of voice, body language, and listening skills until I reach my desired outcomes in life.

Joseph J. Lam
On a mission to help people connect deeply with their parents. | CEO & Co-founder of Parents Are Human (parentsarehuman.com)